I shut my eyes and nuzzled my face against his neck, breathing in his smell as the hormones drifted away from me. I took in the way he always smelled of gun oils and exhaust and for some reason I loved him for it. I wanted to roll in it, carry it with me always. I kissed his chin and felt my soul harden, prepared. We had lost control again. We had lost ourselves to each other again. This never ended well. Corbin shifted, pulling himself out of me and pulled away completely. His warmth was gone, his hormones had died in that instant of release, and he had come back to himself. He was redoing his buttons on his jeans when I opened my eyes. I searched for his deep brown eyes, and found them hidden in the mess of his hair as he stared at the ground. Against all I had told myself that I wouldn’t let him hurt me, I felt the pang roll through my heart anyways. I swallowed past the lump in my throat as I slid from the counter, fixing my skirt and picking up my panties. I stared at Corbin. ”“No buts. I can do this knowing you will be there for me. It’s going to be a long time, but if you can get up to see me wherever they send me; you know, once in a while, I’ll be able to make it. It’s all I’ll need; I will need that, to be reassured from time to time, but it will be enough if I can depend on it, on you.“Blake will take care of things while I’m gone, take care of you. Tell him I need to see him as soon as possible. Oh, and he is not to know what really happened here. He is just to be told what we’ve talked about: I went nuts when I found out that the man had threatened you and me and I decided to put an end to it. Ava, no one but you and I must ever know. Understood?” I said.“Julian, I...” she started, and began to sob all over again.“Okay, okay, the cops will be here soon. You need to leave and do what I told you with the clothes and the rest. I will clean up here and call the cops. Just go, go now, and call Blake as soon as you’ve taken care of the other stuff.” I.
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