It hurts him that I forgot but for me, it was a long time ago when I said I’d go. I’ve been on today enough that I can’t recall yesterday well. I did feel bad about it. For nearly twenty days I would sneak over to his house early for apology sex. For a while, I took other girls but eventually it seemed like a chore so I guess it was wasted. None of those days were final days so he never remembered all the times I tried to make up for it. It just didn’t happen for him. That’s why we drift apart and they don’t seem real to us after a while. Until a new day happens, then it’s like reality crashing all down on us again. We can’t help but have a tiny bit of hope that it’s over. But it never is. So, if there is one thing I am good at it is living for today. Egan once told me he missed video games. Not being able to save progress killed the experience. I try to not look back.He was in a room by himself. I walked around pretending to wait for Saul if anyone asked and used the whole nursing. ‘mmmm, you smell,’ He breathed in again, ‘ like a meadow in spring, like open wilderness, like home.’ She slid her hand down his back as she stepped away from him feeling every muscle move in his shoulders and back under the crisp cotton of his shirt. He placed a hand on the small of her back as he walked her to their table. He was enjoying the sway of her hips as she walked. The feeling translated from the palm of his hand to his brain with images of how it would feel to rest his hand there as she moved above him. He could still feel the curves of her body rubbing against him as they danced, these remembered sensations enter the vision as well and he suddenly realized that he had a full hard on and hoped it was dark enough in the club to disguise it since there was no suit jacket to hide it this time. She reached for her drink just as he pulled out his chair and sat down, there was no missing the outline of his erection in his jeans. ‘That must be uncomfortable.’ The thought.
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