" These were Brother Larry's first words of counsel to me in my hour of devastation and need.I had served as a deacon in the church for nearly five years. I had reached out to families struggling with illness and to individuals in financial need. I had taught Sunday School, and truly believed what I was teaching. I had gladly visited patients in hospitals and nursing homes. And now I was being told that because my wife had left me, I was no longer fit for service.Perhaps all that time spent in the Lord's service and away from Tricia had led to the demise of our marriage. She not only wouldn't join me in ministering to others, but she stopped going to church entirely. With Brother Larry's hellfire and brimstone messages, I bought into her excuse for not wanting to go: she couldn't stand the preaching. But she politely declined my offer to look for another church together.The truth was that Tricia had found someone else. She had decided to join a local band, playing local gigs. Being a. This went on for many months, I had some wonderful feelings when dressed, however, I didn't know why and I had no idea about what was happening sexually. I new I had some stirring in that region when dressed but something happened in my thirteenth year that had a devastating impact on the way I saw myself, and the habit of dressing in pantyhose and heels. The guilt associated with deceiving my mother was bad enough, but having orgasms in women's clothes, how could I be so perverted.The need to dress was far too strong to stop, I had made promises to myself and failed them all eventually. The feeling of guilt often made me withdrawn, and the fear of discovery made me tense. The only time I really felt great was fantasizing about or being dressed. The excitement, adventure and release had me preoccupied most days of the week and I couldn't stop. Time went by and at the age of fourteen I began to experiment with some more of my mother's clothes, they all fitted well, her panties, bra's,.
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