’ ‘Are you sure you don’t want to be a teacher?’ I laughed and Alicia laughed too. ‘I’ve noticed you like to research things.’ ‘That’s true. I am very curious. And I noticed you like to read a lot.’ ‘Yes, I do. How about you? Do you read much fiction?’ ‘I used to, but with all my studying I haven’t been able to indulge in a novel for a long time. I always feel like I need to study, even on the subway. Plus, my mind is really full, but I loved to read growing up.’ We had walked into the park and I took a big whiff and told Alicia to smell it. The park smells different at night. Instead of just grass, there are other plant smells that become prominent, things I can never smell during the daytime. I stopped Alicia and told her to look around. We stood there turning a slow circle admiring the skyline. It does look so very different at night, very beautiful. It is an odd feeling to see so many lights on, knowing there are so many people close by, yet we were almost alone. ‘Look how. However whatever the cost,will be worth it.I will also call my two sons and two daughters to a family discussionand tell them all. I hope that they will accept what I am and not turnagainst me. If they do, this would distress me but not make me changemy mind. I don't think it will become much of a surprise because mywife has not been discrete when she was being abusive and I am surethat they must have heard when they were in bed I know that this willbe a very difficult and emotional time for all, but unavoidable. I willnot make them decide between my wife and myself and would hope the shewould give the same consideration. However they are al adults, theyoungest 25, strong willed and I think they will make their owndecisions and not be influenced.I cannot live the rest of my life under these circumstances and feel Iowe it to myself to follow my deep and uncontrollable desires. I havegiven up most of my life to my family and feel the years that are leftare mine and will do what I need.
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