’ ‘Of course, and I am William’ the beaming smile and the locked gaze the young man gave him sent heat rushing to his loins. It had been some time since Adam had been with any man other than a male whore. ‘Adam has just invited us to dinner,’ Jayne said with a mischievous smile. ‘Oh sorry sir, your invitation was to both of us, wasn’t it?’ ‘Yes of course’ Adam lied, half disappointed that he would not be getting her to himself, but half elated that he would spend more time with William. ‘Ah aunt I have a confession.’ ‘Pray what is that William?’ ‘I have an appointment this evening.’ Adam liked hearing that for it meant he would have Jayne to himself. ‘I have agreed to play chemin de fer at nine this evening.’ ‘Ah such a shame, but perhaps dinner with us first?’ ‘I would be honoured Aunt, Adam.’ ‘Until dinner then’ the young man said. Holding Adam’s gaze he placed his hands on Jayne’s shoulder and kissed her on both cheeks. Watching them Adam couldn’t help wondering whether it was. The socialisation processes of our pre adult days are like lessons for our future, when we truly are free. Free to choose what to do or to choose what not to. For Satre, freedom was not in what happened to us, but rather in how we should respond to it. And we consciously and u*********sly make choices, in our everyday performances in our roles as ourselves, Erving Goffman might add. c***dhood, or everything before adulthood, seems rather constraining by comparison but is a necessary learning process before getting your licence and taking the wheel for yourself. Jerome was frequents told what to do and what not to do, growing up, usually because of his commitment to rule breaking. It excited him for complex yet simple reasons; - Jerome enjoyed the thrill of getting away with things he knew were wrong and would be punished if seen. His crimes were like exhibitionism in a way. But perhaps more interestingly, he also loved being punished for doing things he knew better than to do. Jerome.
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