I reached out for her, but she stopped me with her hand pressed hard against my chest. ‘You take care of Arlene or you will answer to me.’ Her tear filled eyes deceived her meaning and it was then that I wondered if she loved me, but she was gone from my life. As sudden was her kiss and as violent was her slap, as immediate was her disappearance. I never saw or heard from her, again. I took care of Arlene for the next 30 years, as promised, until, just as we entered our relationship as friends, we parted the same way. We were never lovers. Although I never saw Aileen after that kiss and after that slap, I never stopped thinking about her. I heard she married, had two sons, was widowed, and remarried again before moving somewhere far away, I don’t know where. She left me empty, unfulfilled, and lost. My unrequited love for her has compromised my life with a never ending triangle of misplaced affection for another and distracted my thoughts in the way that a parent has chosen which. We had to weave through them. Miller drove the van with skill. Sometimes he would race down the shoulder until a broken-down car or a cop doing a traffic stop forced us back out into the road. We passed strobing lights captured in mid-flash. Other times there was no shoulder, especially as we started over the Cascade Mountains across Stevens Pass. There were times when I wasn't sure that our van fit through the gaps in between cars, but Miller threaded the needle, careful not to hit any vehicle. If he struck them, it might impact momentum to the paused car that could trigger an accident when time resumed.I sat in the backseat, holding Justin's hand. It was a silent drive. All of us had realized that this crazy day—and all the strange, new delights we'd experienced—was coming to an end. I was cataloging my thoughts so I could record them all for posterity. It was such a unique experience to be able to enjoy pause time.I would stare out the windows, spotting impossible sights. A.
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