"I'm not sure if I could." I replied. "Why haven't you shared thesefantasies with me Ben?" "I didn't want you to hate me.You know I love you more than anything. I wouldn't want to do anything tomake you think poorly of me." "I want you to share with me." Shesaid. "How can I trust you if you hide things from me? Secrets are what willkill our marriage." Even though it felt strange todo it, I shared with Rachel over the next several weeks. She wanted to readstories, watch videos and see what interested me most. Since there was somuch material, I had to group the items by subject. One prevalent theme wascuckold stories. There were also all types of material on BDSM, interracialsex, creampie, cock and ball torture, golden showers and hairy women justto name some highlights. After going over many of the stories,films and pictures, she asked me, "Would you really want to watch me getfucked by another man?" "I don't know." I replied. InsideI was torn. It was huge turn on to think of. My wife and I took it very hard. We always had a very rough time around his birthday. He had been born in late November.At any rate, the holidays brought me no joy ... just memories. Those memories were often too difficult for me to bear. I would sit around my house and watch old movies and drink whiskey. My folks had passed away at an early age. I was an only child. I was pretty much left alone except for an aunt out in California.If I did go out, I would encounter happy parents hustling their kids to move along. I would also see young haggard-looking women who had not yet completed their shopping. I yearned to say to them, "Spend your time with your family while you have them. It's not the presents and wrapping that are important ... it's the love." Of course, I knew that they would just look at me like I was a nut. I guess that's one of the curses of being a lonely old man; everyone writes you off and thinks you are strange.One day, early in December, I heard a knock at my door..
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