They even mess me up every time I go to the grocery store. You would think they could settle on something themselves but this sudden “Paper or Plastic?” every time I check out just knocks me for a loop.I bought some of those cloth reusable bags to avoid looking confused, but I never remember to take them with me.Now I toss it back to them. When they ask me, “Paper or Plastic?” I just say, “Doesn’t matter to me. I am bi-sacksual.” Then it’s their turn to stare at me with a blank look.I was recently asked if I tweet.I answered, “No, but I do fart a lot.”P.S. I know some of you are not over 60.I sent it to you to allow you to forward it to those who are.We senior citizens don’t need anymore gadgets.The TV remote and the garage door remote are about all we can handle.Garage DoorThe boss walked into the office one morning not knowing his zipper was down and his fly area wide open. His assistant walked up to him and said, ‘This morning when you left your house, did you close your garage. A shy and sweetly virginal maid awaits the knight whose kiss will set her free from the cold, cold dungeon of loneliness... It was corny and old-fashioned, but it expressed her deepest longings.Prof awarded her an A-, and what mattered more, third place in the competition. She had won the opportunity to present her case before a national audience.Responses began to trickle in. The trickle became a flood. Beth had a stack of over 200 letters in front of her. All were from men who claimed to be dying to meet her... or, more accurately, dying to meet the woman she had represented herself as.Prof encouraged her to write back to a few of them."But I'm nothing like what these men expect me to be. I'm fat. And ugly. And afraid." Precisely, Beth. You're terrified. That's what lies at the core of your being -- fear. And that's the challenge you have to face up to. As for the rest... certainly you are unconventional in appearance. But you'll discover that some men won't mind, and will, in.
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