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Breasts are ludicrous,But lovely,Much like a pair of pantiesRolled down to the knees,No longer clothing,But ornament--When they do not give suckTo infants' needs,Breasts are panties, too,Rolled down to the knees.God or nature,Take your pick,Must have thoughtA million years or soBefore decidingWhere to placeThe buttocksSo as to transformTorso into thighs,Thighs into backAnd belly;We can only wonder howMany millennia HeOr it spent in fixingThe location of women'sBouncing breasts.There is something about a pairOf buttocks, sleek and full and round,That begs for punishment.In a cruel world such as ours,Beauty is as much or moreA liability as it is an asset.Woe be she who is callipygian,For she shall be hunted downAnd impaled upon masculinityBoth merciless and relentless:We live in wicked times!It is impossible for mostTo look upon a seated nudeAnd imagine her at stool;The beauty of her buttocksBelies the thought that she,Like you and me, must answerNature's call to defecate.We would. I grimaced; nobody should be so fucking perky after slogging through waist-deep snow.After about twenty minutes of work, we had cut or collected enough pine branches, garlands, and barrows to decorate the Sistine Chapel. We knitted the load together using paracord and dragged our Evergreen sled across the snowy valley instead of carrying the greenery back to our shelter. We spent a few minutes scooping out a semi-sheltered work area: a depression surrounded by piles of snow to block most of the wind upon arrival.We had plenty of green pine fuel. We got our hobo stove started and burning in short order and melted snow for drinking water. Our all-purpose chamber pot came in handy, and the steam was an excellent hand warmer. Alice’s attempt to build a replica of the snowshoes pictured in the Spanish survival manual was a perfect reproduction of the illustration.“Viola!” she said as she triumphantly held her completed set of Spanish snowshoes aloft for me to view and admire. “It was too.
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