Long enough to breed really. And with their purpose gone, they just kind of dry up and blow away.’ She picked up an orange piece of chalk and traced the remains of a tattered baby doll lazily onto the sidewalk in front of her. The doll was naked and missing its arms and half of its head seemed burned off. She bent her head down and into her work, silent and contemplating for a moment while the one-eyed doll gazed fitfully at the darkening sky. ‘Because life is a continuous circle,’ she said finally, ‘we don’t mourn the ones we’ve lost. That’s the value of eternity. You spend forever wondering where things went, when they never left. They’re sitting there, staring at you, and all the while, it’s you who have gone away. That’s what separates us now, big bro. It’s not simple, like life or death. It’s a whole new shade of gray.’ She picked up a fat purple chalk and began to lazily trace a side-ways eight, so that a strange lavender mist began to seep up from the concrete. The sky. Even so, it took him an hour and a half to stumble down the fellside to the village. Mam had waited up and I sat with her, though Dad had simply said that Kevin was man enough to know what he was doing. I guess mothers never see beyond their little boy and wed expected him to crawl in in the early hours, drunk and barely able to walk in a straight line. At a few minutes after three the back door creaked open and we listened while Kevin tried to sneak in unheard. Were in here. I called and he poked his head around the door to apologise and tell us he was going straight to bed. I followed, while Mam pottered around in the kitchen, had another cup of tea and waiting for her nerves to calm down. As we lay in our single beds, Kevin recounted his tale and I listened with growing admiration for my little brother. I made him tell me again and again in graphic detail and I questioned him on every nuance of the encounter. Finally he reached for his camera and showed me the pictures hed.
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