You spent about a month sitting on your ass. In that time, your girlfriend, Amy, left you (apparently she deserved better, which meant she deserved someone who could afford her expensive tastes), the bills stacked up and you couldn't remember the last time you'd actually bothered to change out of sweatpants. All in all, things weren't going great. But all that changed when you ran into Mike, an old college buddy, in your local convenience store. The pair of you had been pretty close back in the day. You used to have a routine all worked out for picking up girls in college bars, involving an "accidentally" spilt drink, a couple of carefully dabbed napkins and a lame joke that always seemed to make college girls laugh. After college, you both went your separate ways. You tried to keep in touch, but Mike was one of those guys who never really grew up past college, and you were "going places." Well, you were up until a couple of months ago. The problem was Mike had a bit of an obsession. The others looked also and agreed. We found our birth certs and the few other things that we wanted to take and left. Didn’t have to put anything in the van. Not much to show for eighteen years. Monica emptied the trashcan as we left, into the dumpster down the road. I think she was feeling a bit pissed, or maybe she just needed some exercise, anyway she was being tidy. They took us to the mall, another den of iniquity according to momma. They were struggling to suppress smiles, then they took us to this shop that sold only underwear, a place called Victoria’s Secrets. HOLY SMOKE, it was all lacy stuff that was nearly see through. Jessie and I fingered a few things and looked at each other. ‘Is this what we’ve been missing? Momma I hate you.’ The shop assistant came over and looked at our dowdy dresses, looked down her nose at us until Simone told her we were to be ‘upgraded’ on the account. I looked at her puzzled. ‘There is a house account here and a few other stores, all our.
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