)An Italian tourist asks a blond man: “Why do Scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats?”To which the blond man replies: “If they fell forward, they’d still be in the boat.”A guy is walking along Whyte Avenue when he comes across a lamp partially buried in a garbage can.He picks up the lamp and gives it a rub.A genie appears and tells him he has been granted one wish.The guy thinks for a moment and says, “I want to live forever.”“Sorry,” said the genie, “I’m not allowed to grant eternal life.”“OK, then, I want to die after the Liberals balance the budget and eliminate the debt.”“You crafty little bastard,” said the genie.These Are Compliments of John AA teenager had just gotten her learners permit, and her parents allowed her to drive them to church. After a hair raising ride, the mother got out of the car and said “thank you”.“Any time” the daughter said.The mother replied “I was talking to GOD”.An efficiency expert concluded his lecture, by advising that this should not be. Stay there until the nurse releases him, then accompany Jay back.”“Thank you, Ms. Tanner.”JASONTwo girls had asked me for an RR in the period between math and art. They were wearing cheerleader uniforms and I was trying to get to art fast only you have to stop for reasonable requests. What they asked seemed reasonable and I didn’t want to get into trouble for refusing, so I bent over for them. That’s when they each whacked me on my rear end at the same time. I fell forward onto the floor and it hurt.Ms. Tanner, my art teacher sent me to the nurse’s office to get it looked at. I can’t believe she did that just for a couple of slaps. It must have looked bad if Ms. Tanner wanted me to go see the nurse. I had to go -- I’d get into trouble if I didn’t.I was grateful for Sue’s help just then. She seemed to genuinely care about me. She also seemed worried. I can see her getting tired of this by the end of the week though.“I’m sorry you had to do this, Sue. I know how much you love.
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