Unhone abhi bhi kapde nahi pehne the wo abhi bhi nangi hi thi.Mayank ab bhi unke pas leta tha wo bhi bathroom ho kar aaya or wapas mammy ke pas let gaya.Dono abhi bhi nange the.Mayank ne mammy ke badan pr hath ferne laga,mammy ne kuch nahi kaha.Mayank ne pucha apko kesa laga maja aaya ki nahi.Mammy ne haa me jawab diya.Wo mammy ke pure badan ko sahla raha tha usne mammy se pucha ab to chudwaogi n mujhse mammy ne kuch nahi kaha. Usne mammy ka muh apne side kiya or lip kiss karne laga,abki bar mammy ne mana nahi kiya or wo bhi uska sath dene lagi.Dono side me lete huye ek dusre ko kiss kar rahe the.Or ek dusre ki puri body pr hath fer rahe the.Mayank ne pucha jb aapko maza aarha tha fir kyu virodh kar rahi thi din me.Mammy ne bola kyuki ye galat he or din ka time tha agr koi aajata to me to mar hi jati agr koi hume dekh leta to.Wo ye sari baatein ek dusre ki baho me hi kar rahe the.Mayank ne pucha ab to mujhe karne dogi n.Mammy ne kaha haa pr dhyan rakh kar ki kisi ko pta n chal chaye. It’s pathetic.Part of it may be that I’ve never quite felt as alive as I do now. My days are dangerous and somehow unpredictable, even though I end up doing the same thing for a week. I never know what mood he’ll be in, if he’ll even look at me.He must be as horrified as I am. Very rarely do our bodies make accidental contact. He doesn’t spend an excess of time with me. He’s stopped indulging me with chocolate every now and then, or an extra blanket when the chill from the cracks in the walls is too much. I think it’s all a way of reminding himself I’m not a guest.Who is this man? I can never figure it out. He seems so gentle, even if he’s tall and strong. He’s patient when I take forever to complete simple tasks he must oversee. Yet I sense that powerful brutality lurking beneath his benign facade; a brutality I instinctively know I must evade.“How much longer do I have to be here?” I ask tonight. Thinking about all of this has renewed my fear. It terrifies me I don’t have as much.
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