I felt an instant warmth rush through me, I hadn’t even realized just how cold it was. ‘Come in the house,’ she tugged at my arm. I remained glued to the sidewalk. I pulled Nan back to me and held her, I kissed her forehead and said, ‘No Baby, I have to go.’ I walked back the way that I had come, the same aimless wander. I slipped into the darkness that had descended without my knowledge. I stopped at an all night café and drank coffee until the sun came up. I had seen my life through tired eyes in the bottom of the chipped and stained mug, a mixture of warmth and consolation descending to a bitter cold murk. The waitress filled the cup again and I realized what a fool I was. It was that easy, the warmth could be replenished. I could live life again with my family, but not yet. I had to get free of the albatross that was around my throat and threatened to tear my family apart. Amir had almost succeeded in doing just that, but we would not have to worry about him again. My next. Except last night. Damn, Karen, where did you learn to do that? It was like Gene Simmons down there. Man, that’s creepy. The sun even seems to be having problems with this angry sky. It’s indistinct, a hazy ball hanging overhead. Then again, maybe the sky and the sun are cooperating. I can turn my head — just a little — and the glare from that bright yellow corona is boring into my brain. Hey, some shade. That’s one big fucking bird. Wonder if it’s a hawk or an eagle? Probably a vulture. Piss off. I’m not dead yet. I think I’ll go for a walk. Nonsense, you’ll be stone dead in a moment. Stone dead — heh. Two points, two flats, and a packet of gravel. I’ll raise you this boulder I’m laying on. Checkmate, honey — beat you at your own damn game. This heat really is ridiculous. It’s like Satan’s fucking breath. I could do one of those ‘this is your brain on drugs’ commercials without the egg right now. At least I’ve stopped sweating. That’s probably not a good thing, come to think of it..
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