Trouble is I’m too old to be “young,” I’ve never been hip, I’ve got too goddamn much student debt to be rich and I’ve never been considered gorgeous. So I don’t exactly fit in, but I found a house I really liked and I bought it. Bobby lived about a half-mile from me, but it was like crossing the border. The hip, young, and pretty gave way to old, tired and downtrodden. Where there was a new coffee shop going up on every corner in my district, in this one some old Korean guy owned the local grocery. The place usually got by through the alcohol sales – legal and illicit. But Bobby was happy. That’s what he told me when he invited me over to meet his family. And it was a good, even great, reunion. His wife Heather was this cute little fireplug of a woman. She wore a loose fitting top that showed off nice boobs to great advantage. She had a compact, tight body and sure enough, she admitted to being a phys-ed teacher for the local school district. Bobby owned his own car shop. I remember. Fish are jumping..."Let's see your license, boy." Don't need one, sir." Why not, boy." Because boys are exempt." You're a man, don't give no shit, boy." Can't be a man, sir." Why is that, Boy?" You've called me boy four times and if you don't know the difference ... OW!" I said, don't give me no shit, boy." See that man sitting over there? The one with the movie camera and the parabolic microphone? Or ... for that matter, the highway patrolman heading this way?" What's he going to do, boy?" The highway patrolman is going to arrest you, sir. The cameraman is an officer of the court collecting evidence."And the cotton is high."Mighty fine crop of Merrijawanna, kid." Cotton crop, sir." That's pot because I said so." What are you going to tell the Agriculture professor that's behind you?"I kept getting in deeper and deeper because it's me that's rich and my wife is good looking ... Why am I crying?Finally, I cried the the Governor of the State of Michigan, George Wilcken Romney. George.
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