Sitting down on the bench, I watched, quietly. I noticed a tall man lying on a table. Another shorter man was busy massaging the taller one's shoulders and back. “Damn! I wish we had a massage table in our locker room,” I thought. I watched, as he poured more oil on the tall man's back, slowly rubbing it into his skin. It must have felt good, because I heard him groan. The shorter man started kneading and rubbing his shoulders. There was something about the taller man that kept drawing my attention to him. Maybe it was his lean, muscular body, or the air of dominance, I don't know, but he was where my focus stayed. “James, am I getting the knot out of your back?” the shorter man asked. Now, I knew his name. “MmmHmm. Damn, Paul, your hands are magic, man,” James moaned. Paul's hand kept kneading and rubbing down his back, lingering at the top of James' muscular ass. Apparently, this wasn't the first time that Paul had massaged him. I kept noticing how James' hips rotated every time. There's no escaping that fact. The choiceis yours: cope with it or lose your mind.The despondency ebbs enough for me to sit up, swing my feet to the floorand take a series of very deep breaths. There will be no repeat of thenear breakdown I suffered when I first arrived at Tower House. It seemsI'm made of sterner stuff these days.After all, nothing has changed during the last few hours. I've been a girlfor nearly five months, and if I'm honest with myself becoming male againwould take quite a lot of getting used to.But I always thought this story would have a different ending. Often thatwas the one thing that stopped me from giving up altogether.I walk across to the wash basin and rinse my face. The eyes looking backat me from the mirror are clouded but composed. The time forrecriminations has not yet come. If I want to preserve my sanity I mustfirst learn to accept my situation, to view being female as a challenge,not a curse.Easy to promise, so very hard to deliver.A gentle tapping.
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