How could one know, after all? What if the actuality appalled? One thing to dream; another to? But now she did know. Knowing also that her chosen road permitted no u-turns. A fact she had found a little scary. That part of her still obdurate in it’s attachment to normality horrified; wanting nothing more than to turn away from the scene she had worked so hard to contrive and return again to the metaphysical haven of personal imagination. The hermetically sealed world of private desire. She recalled reading that fear of the irrevocable was the only true definition of sanity. She also recalled finding that sage. So now, pronouncing herself nerveless, she could draw only one conclusion. And in the drawing felt uncertainty reassert itself. ‘Calm, calm,’ the same inner-voice warned as her eyes closed to conjure up the picture. Her picture. A glade. Backdropped by shimmering sea. Autumnal. Tranquil. Yellow leaves diffusing bright sunlight as a soothing breeze stirred the branches. She began by looking into Ji’s eyes, “See the mountains kiss high heaven.” Her voice was breathy and heavy. Then she rubbed her cheek against Ji’s, “And the waves clasp one another;” and in a loud whisper she spoke into Ji’s ear her tongue briefly touching Ji’s earlobe, “No sister-flower would be forgiven / If it disdained its brother.” Lavi sat up on her knees and pulled the cut in her shirt down even further, “And the sunlight clasps the earth,” she spread her legs going low and moving forward over Ji’s lap, “And the moonbeams kiss the sea.” Leaning towards Ji and Lavi whispered across her lips, “What is all this sweet work worth / If thou kiss not me?”Melissa was holding my hand like a vise. I don’t know how she did it but suddenly Melissa was leaning to one side and pushing my sweat pants down. She moved and I was perhaps an inch inside her. The entire movement had taken a split second as if she had practiced it. The angle was bad but she moved and I was further in. She was.
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