"Mom was already halfway up the stairs, her sleek butt swinging from side to side, those long legs flashing, when dad climbed out of his chair. "Might as well," he said. "Nowhere else to go."He was so good looking, she thought, and moved like a kid half his age. Her father looked impossibly Nordic, with pale blonde hair and green eyes; he was six feet tall, and a well muscled 200 pounds, with no paunch. It was a wonder that women didn't fight over him.Lorena didn't think that was the trouble between her parents, other women. It was just something that had grown sharp and ugly over the years, like a sickness. But if they wouldn't do anything about it, the kids would. Sneaking a drink behind the bar, Lorena felt the stuff burn all the way down. She needed a little extra courage, but before she could pour herself another shot, she looked up and saw her father watching."You're a good kid, Lorena," he said. "Some guy is going to be mighty lucky." Thanks, dad."Into an awkward silence, Glynn. ‘Well done mom!’ I thought.During the renovation period I had tradesmen coming and going continually. I never got inkling that any of the grimy hunks who came and went were even slightly interested in me. My artwork that consisted of explicit male nudes and the gay magazines and newspapers I left lying about, never sparked a bi-curious note in any of them. Sadly, I eventually realized that my ‘skanky tradesmen fantasy,’ was just a fucking myth. The genius that said that it pays to advertise didn’t know what he was talking about.*After I awoke at seven a.m. one Saturday morning, I switched my geyser on. I only did so for thirty minutes each day to save electricity. Shortly after doing so, I heard running water. After scouting around I saw water pouring out of an overflow pipe from my roof. Even an idiot like me realized that I had a geyser problem. After switching the geyser off I made myself a cup of coffee to calm down. As I sat sipping my coffee I recalled that I had a brochure,.
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