"Shut up dweeb. If you want yourreport back, do as I say or I'll shred it right in front of you. Comeover here and sit in my lap like a good little girl. If you're niceenough to me I'll give it back to you."Jason signed and walked around his desk to Cliff. He stood before him fora moment until Cliff, watching him silently, patted his knee. Jasonblinked back tears and sank down onto Cliff's lap. He couldn't help butfeel humiliated that he, such a small guy, was sitting delicately onCliff's knee. Cliff slid a hand up Jason's back and pulled the hair tiefrom his hair. Jason's long brown locks fell to surround his face, hidingit from Cliff's gaze."There, now you look much more like the girl you secretly desire to be.All you need is a little skirt and some make-up and you could be such anadorable little girl. Hey, why don't you try on some of your cutesister's clothes? I remember seeing her in a few hot numbers before." Fuck you Cliff, leave Megan alone," Jason snapped. He loved his. I had come to rely on that feeling. I had come to think that nothing could ever take it away. I had lost any feelings of wondering or desire or any kind of willful longings about other men. I had just imagined that I would always love Peter and that he would always love me. I still had my initial confidence in love, when I thought if him and especially when I could see him. It was still my first response. But now there was a sick tightness in my belly that immediately followed it. That feeling only dissipated when I indulged in feeling of revenge. The only way I could cope with my pain was to see Peter experience it also. I felt as though I needed to see him in pain. My dreams were weird and crazy. Peter was there sometimes, sometimes he was not. The woman I had seen him with was sometimes there and sometimes not. Images floating in and out of my mind leaving me with the overwhelming feeling that Peter didn’t love me anymore. And that he would never want me again. I woke at about.
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