”“Then he tells me that the whole country would be cleared of Jews and I told him that we were staying right here.”“And then what?” asked a woman.“Who knows?” said the rabbi. “He took out his lunch so I took out mine.”’Police work can be entertaining as well as dangerous. Recently, a female sheriff’s deputy arrested Patrick Lawrence, a 22 year old white male, who was fornicating with a pumpkin in the middle of a field at night. The next day, at the Gwinnett County (GA) courthouse, Lawrence was charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, public indecency and public intoxication. The suspect explained that he was passing a pumpkin patch on his way home from a drinking session when he decided to stop.‘You know how a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around for miles, or at least I thought there was no one around’ he stated. Lawrence went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purpose, cut a. Never have I been fucked like that before. Ho, ho, ho!’ Instead of having to euthanize so many cats and dogs, imagine if there were loving homes for every kitten and every puppy and no dog or cat had to be left abandoned and unwanted. ‘Oh, look, Mommy, isn’t he cute? Can we get him?’ ‘He is rather attractive, but I don’t think your father would approve of my taking home Armando.’ ‘Mother, really! I was talking about the dog and not the animal attendant.’ Instead of children spending their Christmases in hospitals dying of the H1N1 and Leukemia, what if our doctors had cures that saved these children. ‘The doctor said that if you took that pill, you’ll miraculously get better and…you did. It’s a miracle.’ Instead of shipping men and women overseas to fight a war in Iraq and Afghanistan, what if the world was at peace and we could all spend the holidays with our families. What if we all just got along? ‘Mommy, Daddy, Merry Christmas. I’m so glad you’re home with us kids.’ Instead of.
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