But I'm damn sure I'm not the kind he had in mind. He mistook me for a biological female... and I'm not. I'm not. Now, had I been post-op, I'd have gone off with him then and there... but I'm not that either! And I couldn't. Do you have any idea how humiliated a guy can be when he finds out that he's been sexually aroused by someone he would certainly regard as being another man?The answer is: a LOT! I spared him all that. He'll never know what it was he was fondling at the bus stop that day. Not if I have any say in the matter.That's the sort of thing I cry over. The knowledge that I can tempt a man; even a straight man... I just can't have one of my own. And I want one. I want to be loved as Cassandra by a man more than anything else in the world. I just know that it cannot be. Not as long as I'm a pre-op!And then... again... my thoughts turn to my only friend... the razor and I want to cut again... because I'm so tired of trying to live without love when to love and be loved is. Then decide what I want to do then.”“I just don’t want to hurt you, Lily.”“Just promise you will ask me before you do anything with anyone else.”“It’s a promise.” We sat for a second. “Damn!”“What?”“I have the hottest girlfriend in the world!”She laughs and hits my shoulder. She got up. “Well, I’m going to go take a shower.” She stuck out her chest and rocked on her knees like she would do when she was little and I was only a teen. Just then the dream I had the first night she was with me came rushing back. Oh I had to join her in the shower. Even though we had had sex four times now this prospect was a bit of a rush to me. I heard the water turn on in my bathroom. My cock was already getting hard. In my head I wondered what she would do. Would she bend over? Would she let me pick her up and slam her on the shower wall holding onto the the wall best she could as my cock pushed in and out of her. Mmmm it was all so wonderful. I got out of bed slowly stroking my cock. I walked over to.
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