Feeding and tending to our horses, fixing broken fences, and working on that damn car. “So, just what do you want to do with your life?” Dad always kept after me. “I dunno, maybe waitress at Hooters.” That always pissed him off. He abruptly stood at the table “Sit down Julius!” My Mom was shaking her head with her back to us, laboring on the sauce for my birthday feast. My Dad was and still is a mountain of a man, six-foot-five and a solid 260 pounds. But Elaine could put him in his place in a heartbeat. My Mom ruled with an iron fist, and we both knew it. In fact, she grounded me for life last year. I came home from a trip to the city with a ‘Harley Davidson’ tattoo on my left arm. “I love you, Mom.” There, Dad. It’s now two against one. My Mom didn’t want to be called by her ‘chosen’ name here at home. Her parents immigrated to America from Vietnam, when she was a little girl. They wanted her to have an American name on her naturalization papers, so they picked Elaine Mae. But. Sure, "It's not you it's me" but that usually means "It's you". And of course I saw her every day. I considered having "Rule #7" tattooed in reverse on my forehead. Also, some rule about how sex can ruin friendships. I don't know the number but it's got to be in the low single digits.So I slipped back into my old life, rode the bus most days and even bought a bike to try to stave off the creeping ruin of my aging body by commuting on two wheels. It turns out this is sweaty work, often hampered by weather, and not all that rewarding. But it did spark a few conversations with women who didn't know any of that so I kept it up until the bike was stolen.After a few weeks I was normal again. Things were going well at work, I got some killer bud from a friend in Colorado, and my bar trivia team took ninth in a national contest. Woot, amirite? Yeah well it's better than moping.Then one night I was with some of our usual crowd of shiftless guys and gals at The Brick, two beers into a buzz,.
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