But I could see in her eyes that it was only true ifI shared her views on men. She was having problems accepting me if Ididn't think of them as something to be used and thrown away. Given myemotions, I was not sure I could promise her that.Finally she stood up and walked to the bedroom. I adjusted myself tofollow before she said "I love you Roxana but I don't know if I am readyto accept this. I know it's my fault you ever went in that place butright now it feels repulsive. I want so badly to hold you but every timeI touch you I think of the men who were pawing you tonight. I need to beleft alone for a bit and think." She looked back once more before goinginto her room and closing the door.I curled up on the couch with a blanket and fell asleep crying.I woke in the morning to the front door closing. Veronica had left a notetelling me she was going into the studio early to work on some musicbefore her shift at the club. I realized I had the night off and wouldnot see her. “I shouldn’t have said it”“Hmm, yes,” said Helen “but I didn’t really want you to get a written warning that will stay on record for two years. I think that’s a bit much. But the head is very straight laced on this sort of thing” “Ok” I said. Not sure where this was going now. Helen was now looking out the window and not at me.“Do you really think my tits are superb?” she asked fiddling with her wedding ring.I didn’t answer, as I was so surprised.“Would you like to see them?”I looked towards the door to the heads office. Diane was outside typing up the notes and the door was unlocked. Helen followed my glance towards the door and got up and very carefully and silently turned the key. She then stood with her back pressed against the door.“We have about twenty minutes before Diane comes back with those notes” Said Helen. “Twenty minutes for what?” I asked.“Twenty minutes for you to give me an answer regarding my tits” Said Helen.I was stunned. “I can give you an answer in one minute” I.
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