Smith designed beautiful little fur hats to fit the 2,998 heads of his herd to mute their hearing. (A drunken Russian named Ivanovich had stomped two of the animals when he tripped over their reins, though they were totally innocent. Fred had declined to push the point with someone twice his size who also carried a very large knife.) Now, he thought, I have proved my idea, improved my design, and can rapidly become rich and besought by women who weigh less than I do. So on the fateful day of March 1, 1826, when a fur trader wanted to move $2,000 dollars worth of mink and beaver skins to the coast, and offered half the profit to anyone who could go where Angels feared to tread, Fred rushed in. Soon, piled high, with his team all eagerly jingling their tiny bells, and wearing their hats with holes in the tops for their crests, Fred Smith set out over the one thousand miles of ice, with sunlight scintillating, birds straining, dreams floating, and knowledgeable heads shaking sadly to. I knew they knew, and stood in their sights as willing prey.As I started my lecture on nature versus nurture and deviant sexual behavior, I made a brave decision—the only one possible considering my frisky mood. "Students, I'm feeling a bit ill today. Please read chapter sixteen this week and..." I let the class walk after five minutes. Of course, the two coeds waited until last, stopping in front of me with smug grins. I'm sure the class knew something was up."Today, Teach?" Laura asked.Learning a years ago of times to speak and times to remain silent, I nodded. The two smiled in conquest, and we made plans to meet at a hotel in two hours, exchanging cell numbers and pecks on the cheek.Spending money, I rented a room with a Jacuzzi and king-sized bed. I sat on the bed, running my fingers on satin comfort and thinking about the girls. Stacey exuded brilliance, writing firebrand essays supporting the queer. Laura experienced difficulty in school suffering from dyslexia, but worked.
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