She always said it made her feel safe to be the younger of the two. My pet name for her was “Swan” and people would ask why I called her that, and we would both smile and say it was private. Some people would guess it was perhaps a childhood name because I could not pronounce her given name when we were young, or perhaps because she grew up to have a very long and graceful neck. Actually it was neither of those things. Forty years ago we were growing up on the family farm/ranch in the Texas panhandle a couple of miles outside of town. We were seventeen at the time. Our mother had passed away a couple of years before and it was just the two of us and our Dad. We had to be, and were pretty self-sufficient by the time we were seventeen. Our Dad worked long hours and we were expected to get ourselves up, etc. to go to school. The bus would pick us up at the road that fronted our farm about 200 yards from the house. This story is the reason I gave her the name. As twins, and especially. ”“It’s about Joe. Our disagreement was not about him touching me in public.”“So what was it about then?” “He wants me to leave you and move in with him.”“So, you Sally and Joe together, that would be interesting.” I gave a little chuckle. It was my response to my nervousness not that I thought it was funny.“It’s not a fucking joke. He was serious. He didn’t include Sally in his plans.”“So it’s not a joke. Obviously, you said no so what’s the problem?”She looked me in the eye. I saw a tear start to form in the corners of her eyes. She continued to look at me for some time before she continued. I was too upset to speak.“I didn’t say no. I told him that I would think about it and give him my answer next week.”“Fuck!” I jumped up from the bed and stormed out of the room. I picked up my most valued possession, a crystal vase that I had won for being player of the year and threw it as hard as I could against the wall. It smashed into a million pieces. When I realized what I had done I.
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