J. Holub, Kansas City Chiefs linebacker regarding his twelve knee operations: “My knees look like they lost a knife fight with a midget.”Vic Braden, tennis instructor: “My theory is that if you buy an ice cream cone and make it hit your mouth, you can learn to play tennis. If you stick it on your forehead, your chances aren’t as good.”Walt Garrison, Dallas Cowboys fullback when asked if Tom Landry ever smiles: “I don’t know. I only played there for nine years.”John Breen, Houston Oilers: “We were tipping off our plays. Whenever we broke from the huddle, three backs were laughing and one was pale as a ghost.”Bum Phillips, New Orleans Saints, after viewing a lopsided loss to the Atlanta Falcons: “The film looks suspiciously like the game itself.”Al Hrabosky, major league relief pitcher: “When I’m on the road, my greatest ambition is to get a standing boo.”Paul Horning, Green Bay Packers running back on why his marriage ceremony was before noon: “Because if it didn’t work out, I didn’t. I still drank but no longer at Olympian levels. And I had a place to stay, a regular income, and the prospect of getting me a small apartment in the not too distant future: I figured maybe a few more months. Hell, the way things were looking maybe I’d get to the point where I could give the moneyman a run for his money! Wouldn’t that be the cat’s meow.****“It’s her birthday tomorrow,” said Claire, smiling the smile of the proud parent.“Yes, and something odd,” he said.“Something odd?” she said.“Yeah, out of nowhere, she asked me why Mister Jimmy had never come back to see her. I guess my old bud made an impression,” he said.“Now! You mean now! She asked you that now!” said Claire.“Yes, I ain’t speaking Greek. It surprised me too,” he said. He must have made an impression in those few hours three years gone.” His wife took on a concerned look.“My God, I hadn’t even thought about him in so long” she said.“Hmm, yes, well it was his decision to disappear. I kinda understand why he did.
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