I thought I was an early starter when I had it when I was fourteen! My Dad threatened to disown me, he did!’ Finally I gave up and purchased a book of postage stamps. Then there was the time my wife and I went on honeymoon and we could not stand to see our Sex left behind. ‘Good Evening, Sir and Madame! Welcome to the Palm Beach Hotel! Have you made reservations?’ ‘Eh! Yes we did. We have a problem though. The lady who usually had Sex, said she couldn’t do it this time, so we had to bring Sex with us which means we now require an additional room for Sex… Please.’ The hotel receptionist just did not know where to look, finally she looked at me and then my wife and back at me again. I could see she was doing her best to control her features. Finally she said, ‘You do not have to worry on that score, Sir! All our rooms are warm and sound-proofed. We have had no complaints although some of the ladies admitted to us that they were very loud in the bedroom. Personally, don’t say I told. And movies the character wakes up thinking everything isnormal and they slowly realize that's no longer the case? Yeah, thatdidn't happen. From the instant my brain went from sleep mode to awakeI immediately knew things about me had changed. Since I typically slepton my stomach and there was a softness beneath my head, though thereseemed to be more of it, I was pretty sure that pressure and cushioningI felt on my chest wasn't some errant pillow. Not only that, but likepretty much every teenage boy on the planet I usually woke up with thetypical 'morning wood' and there was a very distinct absence of that.It didn't take a master's degree in biology to figure out that I was nolonger the same as I'd been when I fell asleep.Now, of course, that didn't mean I automatically knew what was goingon. The signals my brain was processing were distinctly alien to me soI couldn't really comprehend what they were trying to translate to.That cushioning on my chest? That shouldn't be there. So what.
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