”“My missus dumped me ‘cos she says I’m too obsessed with football,” said the first fella.“How long have you been with her?” asked the second fella.“Six seasons.”A young Scotsman leaves home and moves to New York. After six months his mom calls him and she asks how he finds the Americans. “Horrible,” he says. “They’re always yelling and screaming. I hate how they constantly pound on the walls and stomp the floors.”“How do you get by?” she asks.“I just relax in bed, playing me bagpipes,” says the Scot.A man is on trial for cannibalism. He proclaims to the judge, “Well, your honor, if you truly are what you eat, then I am an innocent man.”I rang work and said, “I can’t come in today, I have a wee cough.”The boss replied, “You have a wee cough?”I said, “Wow, thanks boss, see you next Wednesday!”A fly is minding his own business when a gnat lands on its back. Bemused, the fly says, “Is there a gnat on my back?”The gnat says, “Gnat at all.”“That’s the worst pun I’ve ever heard,” says the. Her tight muscles closed around his finger as it sank into her tight musky cave of carnal pleasure to the first knuckle. She was so lost in the moment that she was unaware of him lubricating his rock hard cock, until he pulled his finger out of her ass replacing it with the blunt tip of his steely cock which he pushed steadily against her anal opening. Suddenly she felt a sweet stinging sensation and almost panicked as she realized his cock had slipped into her asshole. Her sphincter tightened about him, practically choking the neck of his pulsating penis but he waited patiently for her to adjust to his girth, all the while whispering reassurances to help her relax. The pain steadily dissipated, giving way to pure pleasure. She soon grew accustomed to the strange bulky stinging sensation in her ass, and as the line between pleasure and pain faded away he began to fuck her ass deeper until his bullocks began to slap against her pussy sending ripples after ripples of pleasure through.
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