I'd learned she was divorced, was the mother of a teenaged daughter who lived with her, had one job and two cats. She was a couple years older than myself, lived in an apartment in the bottom of an old guy's house, and had both brothers and sisters. In most respects she had a pretty normal life, a single-again woman with too much to do and too little sex to make it enjoyable.What about me, you ask? I'm married, and I guess what I'd been doing makes me a fucking rat, right? It was cheating long distance. I can say my justification was that my marriage was on life support, and that's true enough. Still, I know it was wrong.I'd started this innocently enough. We'd started chatting in an online chat room, then switched into private chat. She told me some of her problems and I was conceited enough to think I had constructive things to say in helping her to sort her way through them. The result was I became involved, then deeply involved, and finally intimately involved.The danger was also. ? I loved dropping these things on her out of the blue. But I?d done it often enough now that she had learned to keep her mouth shut until she?d begun to organize an answer. ?You mean, like husband-wife?? ?Be more general. People relationships.? ?Hm. From what I can see, one way to organize them is by how much they have legal recognition. You?ve got employer-employee, which often has a written contract, husband-wife which may, boyfriend-girlfriend which won?t, and like that.? ?Fine. Take that set, though obviously there are others, of varying durations: shop clerk-customer, parent-child, ex-husband-ex-wife. Pimp-whore.? She gave me a shocked look. Still some prudishness left from Saint Virginia. ?Each one is a type of relationship. Generalize across all of them. What?s a relationship?? ?They all have a set of assumptions and permissions, I guess. Each participant assumes certain things about the behavior of the other, and gives permission for behaviors to the other.? ?A little.
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