” I was embarrassed enough that if I had not needed to pee so much, I would have left.She flushed the toilet and appeared a moment later. I needed to explain.“It’s my birthday and it’s been, you know…”She smiled. She was petite and had one of those faces where you could believe she was anywhere between late teens early thirties. I realised it was her boyfriend that looked more hippyish. Her clothes and the way she tied her hair had hippy echoes but everything she was wearing was very clean and tidy. She started washing her hands.“I was doing job for career for three years after college. One day I decide fuck it. I hate job. I go. I travel some and meet Lars. He’s okay. I say fuck it again and travel more and come here. Then somewhere else.” She smiled at me. “Just say fuck it. Even if it’s your birthday. Then even if it is not.”She gave me a hug and left the cubicle.After I peed, I went back to my chair. As I passed the hippy couple, the girl gave me a wink and carried on talking to. He knew that Sonni wouldn't be happy until he tried something and failed so she could have a chance to throw something in his face. That would be the price he had to pay for not knowing her well enough to suggest something more attractive than a buttfuck. He decided to make an attempt that would be "over the top", either a spectacular failure or a raging success. Something that would be memorable for the rest of their lives, together or apart. He felt ambivalent about which result was achieved. He often wondered whether staying with Sonni was worth the grief it involved. He loved her, but she was 49 % sweetheart and 49% bitch with the other 2% a matter of perspective. Too much time with her would push it to the bitch side and too little time with her, like now with this period of business travel, would also push it to the bitch side. Things beyond his control were preventing him from achieving the balance that would keep her in the sweetheart zone. He remembered that she had once.
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