In retrospect, I think that's notit, entirely. Even then I didn't really believe I had a chance withAlice, but like the moth and the flame I liked the proximity to herbrightness, even though I distrusted it and knew it might be my undoing.And sure, there was the math challenge ? it's not often you get toforeground calculations on Expected Value in daily life.The main thing, though, was what had driven me mad that sophomore year.The truth was, I didn't like myself much. I had been handed a great lifeon a plate, but it didn't feel in the slightest bit authentic. Every day,in countless little ways, I somehow felt like an impostor. Maybe it wasthe Asian-American thing. Maybe I was making excuses.While the evidence suggested otherwise, I felt like I hadn't reallydeserved to go to Harvard. I thought I hadn't really deserved the friendsI had. I believed I didn't really deserve the life I was leading. Therewas no obvious reason for any of these feelings, other than a feeling ofdisconnection. Your thoughts are interrupted as a woman almost matching your thoughts walks out from a tiny door set somewhere behind a tattered Darth Vader costume. She is short, with frosty white hair and a pair of large glasses perched precariously on her small nose. The thick lenses magnify her blue eyes as she peers up at you, wrinkled face showing its’ age yet retaining some sense of intelligence and wit. “May I help you son?” She asks and smiles, instantly putting you at ease with her grandmotherly charm. You smile.“Yes ma’am, I’m looking for a costume.” You say and she gives you a sarcastic look.“Of course you are, this is a costume shop after all.” She chuckles softly as you blush. “Just ignore an old lady’s attempt at humor son, what kind of costume are you looking for?” She asks and you scratch the back of your head and shrug.“I really don’t know.” You reply. The little old lady eyes you up and down for a moment and then a smile brightens her face.“I’ve got it! Bo Peep!” She says and you.
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