"Is there a problem, Officer?"The policeman says, "Sir, you were speeding. Can I see your license please?"The driver responds, "I'd give it to you but I don't have one." You don't have one?"The man responds, "I lost it four times for drunk driving."The policeman is shocked. "I see. Can I see your vehicle registration papers please?" I'm sorry, I can't do that."The policeman says, "Why not?" I stole this car."The officer says, "Stole it?"The man says, "Yes, and I killed the owner."At this point the officer is getting irate. "You what?" She's in the trunk if you want to see."The Officer looks at the man and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes, five police cars show up, surrounding the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half-drawn gun.The senior officer says, "Sir, could you step out of your vehicle please!"The man steps out of his vehicle. "Is there a problem, sir?" One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and. I am living with one of yours and he needs a lot of improvement!?When a married man says, I WILL THINK ABOUT IT - what he really means is that he doesn’t know his wife’s opinion yet.A lady says to her doctor: “My husband has a habit of talking in his sleep! What should I give him to cure it?”The doctor replies: “Give him an opportunity to speak when he’s awake!”✧ ✧ ✧Back on January 9th, a group of HELLS ANGELS, South Carolina bikers were riding east on 378 when they saw a girl about to jump off the Pee Dee River Bridge. So they stopped.George, their leader, a big burly man of 53, gets off his Harley, walks through a group of gawkers, past the State Trooper who was trying to talk her down off the railing, and says, “Hey Baby ... whatcha doin’ up there on that railin’?”She says tearfully, “I’m going to commit suicide!!”While he didn’t want to appear “sensitive,” George also didn’t want to miss this “be-a-legend” opportunity either so he asked... “Well, before you jump, Honey-Babe ....
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