” He said, voice tiny, “I can’t just take that first step, I’ve been trying all my life.. But..” he shook his head, tears falling to his shirt as he tried to control himself, “But every time I think I can, I get too scared, I back off, I just.. Just push it back deep down inside of me.” he said, releasing a shaky sigh, feeling the tears fall down his cheeks as he spoke, “I can’t live my life as a woman…”“Don’t push it down anymore Alex. Don’t you see how much happier you are when you’re not pretending to be someone you aren’t? Just, be who you want to be. Isn’t it that easy?” She said, voice soft.He sniffed some, using the back of his hand to wipe at his reddened eyes, letting out a despairing little laugh. “That's easy for you to say, being normal..”She bit her lip a little. She could’ve revealed herself now, used her tool as a tool to sway his judgement, but she wanted him to take this step for himself, not for her.“Alex.. You’ve done so much for me, so, so much. You’ve made me. Yeah I had the dog food plant but they operated round the clock, so they seldom had break ins. It gave me a chance to tool around the local back roads. Those roads had hairpin curves that were not banked. Aside from being an adrenaline rush they were getting me ready for the day when I went to live in Florida or Louisianan. To next go somewhere with cool roads and warm weather was the plan.I knew I wasn't going to be with the Warren County Sheriff's office for long. Not so much because I was concern my personal life would get in the way, but more because I would get a better offer one day. It wouldn.t take much to be a better offer, I was pretty badly under paid in Warren County. I mode about sixr hundred dollars a month less than I could have made in any other jurisdiction. They didn't under pay me because I was a woman, everyone was underpaid, The county just didn't have the money for a first rate police presence, so they had us and the State Bureau of investigation for the.
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