I had been an active closet queen since puberty, and had been crossdressing secretly since that time. Oh yeah, like most closet queens, I went through periods where I swore I'd never cross dress again, and I'd "purge," which is what we queens call gathering up all our ladies apparel - dresses, high heels, lipstick, etc. - and tossing it in to a supermarket trash can, swearing never to indulge in such a loathsome activity ever again. And when we're doing this, we sincerely mean it. We hate ourselves for being the disgusting faggots that we are, and we desperately want to be "normal," meaning: heterosexual. Sometimes these periods last only a few days or weeks, other times, months. But we always end up right back at Walmart or Target, buying high heels, short shorts, dresses and skirts, lipstick and other cosmetics, and returning to dressing up and masturbating to internet porn. In my case, I wanted to be "normal" so badly that, when the opportunity arose to marry a biological woman, I. Do you understand?" Jill nodded and went out, pulling the doorshut behind her as best she could. Victoria walked over to the desk andput her hand up to take Richard's. "Careful dear, those shoes aren'treally the best for climbing in."As Richard stepped back onto the desk, the chair slipped and fell tothe floor with a loud crash. He looked at the end of the nylon noose,still in his hand, up at the ceiling and then at the fallen chair andswallowed hard.Victoria didn't speak again until he was safely on the ground. "Pleasetake that, that ligature from around your neck, it makes me feelnervous."Richard refused to make eye contact with Victoria, but sheepishlyopened up the knot and pulled the noose over his head carefully so asnot to disturb his wig. Quietly he muttered, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'msorry", over and over again like a mantra.Still struggling to maintain her veneer of calm, Victoria spoke. "Comeon Richard, we need to talk, for both our sakes." She took his hand andguided him.
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