? It wassuspiciously eerie, and almost... sadistic.?I still couldn't come out of my haze enough to respond properly to hischange of attitude and tone... I was balanced just between this need hedescribed and my dignity, which I sensed he was about to throw on the floor andgrind to dust under his boots.? Imanaged, "Yes, help me, Nick.?Please, I do need something.? Iknow you can help me."? Completelylosing the struggle between my physical and my spiritual beings, I heard myselfbegging him to sate the desire I had.? Iwas fiending, I finally realized it.?But why? Now I did ask myself... but only briefly, before I retchedagain, ripping myself apart inside.? Nickhad positioned his body right behind mine.?We had never slept together in all this time- he had gallantly insistedI take the bed and he never once even asked for it.? But now, somehow, his body's front pressed to my body's backbrought sexual thoughts to mind- forceful, non-consenting ones.? Ones I probably would not enjoy.? My mind. January 5th, 1987 This odd thing that has happened, and now I look mostly like myself, only, I have a... vagina, I am a girl, my doctor says that this is the strangest thing that he has ever seen, and at first, he didn't believe that this was me, but he made me make a footprint to prove it, then do it again, just to make sure that I was telling the truth. I don't think that Dr. Elahi will ever be the same now... he looked kinda strained, and there was a vein bulging in his forehead that didn't look healthy in the least. Well, how does he think I feel? I have been a boy for 12 years, this is seriously going to ruin my life. just wait till everyone at school sees me now, and my parents want me to look like a good little muslim girl, and wear a headdress just like my mother does, I told her that I didn't want to and, besides, this is the nineties, muslim girls don't need to do that anymore, she said that Allah was beyond whatever century we are in, I told her that the nineties was the.
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