You are one lucky lady.”“I don’t feel lucky,” Joy declared as she sat next to Angie at our dining room table, sharing a Coke and some cookies.Angie reached over and placed her hand onto Joy’s forearm.“Look,” she said, “You’re uptight about all of this. Maybe all you need is a good massage.”“Maybe so,” Joy replied. “But I don’t know a good masseuse.”“Lucky you,” Angie shot back, "I used to be a licensed massage therapist.”“No way!” Joy shot back. “Are you serious?”“Yes,” Angie replied. “I can give you a massage right now.”Joy was ecstatic.“I’ll tell you what,” Angie said, “I'll run next door and get my lotions. Why don’t you take a hot shower and get ready? I know exactly what you need! We can do this on your bed.”I listened as Angie departed through the patio door and Joy sauntered off to the master bedroom bath.I casually stuck my head out of the garage and pronounced that I was going to go up to Home Depot and would be gone for a while.Joy excitedly told me that she had discovered. .. It was the old days of the American west. A young man has left his home back east, to seek his fortune in the wide open spaces. He arrives in town, and sees the local saloon has a ‘HELP WANTED’ sign in the window.He goes into the bar, and speaks to the owner, who sizes him up, and offers him the job. He adds this: “One thing. If you ever hear, ‘Big John’s a-comin’’, just get out of here as fast as you can!”He works there for a few weeks, when one day, he’s cleaning the place, and there’s an incredible commotion outside. People are yelling, screaming “Big John’s a-comin! Big Jooooohn’s a-comin!”As he’s trying to leave the bar, though, he’s knocked over by a massively huge man, riding an even bigger mountain lion, using a twelve foot rattlesnake for a whip! The man rides the mountain lion up to the bar, tosses the rattlesnake into the corner, and bellows out “Gimme a barrel of pickle juice!”Our young hero goes into the store room and rolls out a barrel of pickle juice. The man rips.
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