"Imagine living in a long, narrow room, with ten cots lined up against one wall. Beside each cot was a four-drawer dresser that contained everything – every single thing – that belonged to you. Then imagine that every time one of the other boys wanted what was in your dresser drawers, he just stole it, and beat you to a pulp if you mentioned it to anyone."If you can imagine those things, you have the total picture of growing up in an orphanage."I couldn't wait to win my emancipation and get out of that hell hole. The people running it wanted one thing, and that was the check they got every month, in my name, from the Social Security Administration. I was just that to them – a canceled check."That shut her up about the orphan thing.As we ate I kept thinking about the name I got off the lone survivor of the attack at Atlantis. Hawk needed to know that the shooter named someone much too close to him, but what would he do with such incendiary information, and how would/could he use it to. Both of us had remained lost in thought, deeply unsure about what to say next. We rented a room in a pricey boutique hotel in downtown Portland. Given the untethered state of things, the place seemed way over the top. The trip wasn’t supposed to end this way, I sighed to myself.After unpacking her small overnight bag, Kate announced that she wasn’t hungry, and was going to turn in early.Welcoming some time alone, I nodded, changed, and went out on my own for a drink and some food. I was feeling way off balance at that point, not quite believing that things could unravel as quickly as they had. At around 9 p.m., I was back in our room. Kate was now sound asleep in bed. Curled up into a tight, protected ball, her face still looked strained. If she’d had a thumb in her mouth, she would have looked like a little girl lost in a dark dream.I showered, and then crawled into bed on the other side, assuming the same foetal position as Kate, but facing the wall instead of the window. I felt.
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