I just shook my head. “I think it’s either situational blindness, a major joke that nobody except him gets the punchline to, or mental instability, brought on by the fact that his pants are so tight they’re squeezing his nuts and cutting off the circulation to his brain...” she nodded her head as she spoke. She gave me the impression that she just wanted ... almost needed to hit him.“With that much pressure on his balls, he’ll probably never have children,” she continued. “But if you ask me ... that’s a good thing! Clearly, one of him is enough.”He started sputtering like a fish out of water. As we turned to leave, I heard him mutter, “Lesbian,” under his breath.Her head snapped around so quickly that it seemed like it was a wheel spinning on an axle. Her eyes locked onto to him so precisely that I began to suspect that she was a robot.“What did you say?” she hissed. I was sure that Martin had just pissed his pants. Maybe it was the way his legs were rubbing together all of a sudden.. I assure you, your agents were all very clear about your specific diets. The kitchen staff has been briefed to the nearest calorie. Ah, this is the bedroom assigned for your possessions and changing during the shoot.”He directed the men carrying the bags to take them into the room, and indicated with a wave of his hand that they were not to angle for tips like hotel bellboys.“Mr Fantozzi, who is the overall creative director of both the photoshoot and,” Carlton coughed politely, “the documentary is making some last minute equipment and location checks. My understanding of the equipment is basic, but I believe one of the handheld cameras has failed and needed to be repaired.”“Hello! Do you know how boring you are, you old fart? Get out of here while we change!”Carlton, ever the butler, bowed his head politely and left the room. There were six bikinis in the room, each labeled for the models. As there had been some confusion over whether Gemma Atkinson could read, the labels were in.
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