The soft curves of the female, clad in beautiful clothing, seemed to be what I was meant for.But there was a lot more to my female dream life than a mere wish to be an animated mannequin. No, to me, the essence of being female was being a gentle, loving nurturer; the male was the hunter, the gatherer, the protector. The female was the protected one. How I longed to be the mother tending the nest. That seemed to be the true essence of womanhood.So my time as Samantha was something of a revelation. Here was a beautiful wife, loving mother, unquestionably feminine...and unquestionably a strong person in her own right. Part of me didn't want to leave her...but as ever, I was too curious about what life in another program would be like, so I reluctantly exited my television again.Besides, I would have to spend enough time working to pay my bills...keep my apartment, and most important, keep my subscription to TGTV. I knew my free trial would be running out, and no matter what the cost, I. Here are the winners:1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.2. Ignoranus: A person who’s both stupid and an asshole.3. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn’t get it.9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease.(This one got extra credit.)11. Karmageddon: It’s like, when everybody is sending off all these really.
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