”“We’ve not done it at all yet,” I said peevishly. “That was not full sex. We hardly moved, you didn’t come and I certainly didn’t.”“I don’t care. OK, I want our first time when we do it properly to be without barriers. So don’t try anything like that again.”That angered me. “I would point out that I pulled out, by myself. My decision not yours. I didn’t notice you pushing me away at any stage. So don’t try loading all the guilt on me.”I turned my back on her. All the romantic feelings I had had for her had gone. In my book she had ruined a wonderful evening by blaming me for something we both did, and for which I did not feel in the slightest bit guilty.“Graham...”“Just go to sleep. You might like to reconsider some of your comments in the morning. You’ve ruined what could have been a beautiful evening. We both did it, I pulled out. I stopped it. You didn’t. So take the blame yourself if you must lay blame. Go on your own private little guilt trip if you can’t admit it to me, but. I hate to think what the Prick (that's the nickname for the beloved (!) Headmaster: one Mr Woodderowffe Price) would have done to my arse with his rod if he had found out how I spent my spent my spare time on the computer.Suffice it to say that by the time I left Sheldon, there was little I thought I did not know about the behaviour of gay men, a fraternity to which I realised that I would, sooner or later, have to belong. In short, I was theoretically fully aware of what my future life would be as a totally committed gay, but I had not the slightest idea of how I was to enter into the gay world to which I knew I belonged.So I left Sheldon School and returned for the first time in years, to my Aunt Agatha's house in Boston: I really had nowhere else to go, so it had to be my first port of call. Of course, I was now of age, pushing nineteen years old, so that my aunt, my only living relative, was no longer my guardian; I was, so to speak, my own man, and could do as I pleased.Aunt.
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