Her long flowing chestnut hair and gorgeous ‘Girl next door’ features made her something to behold. But at 5’-4” she was a bit short to walk the runways. She had amazing breasts too. James loved to fondle her perfect C-cups every chance he’d gotten. He lost his virginity to her and the sex after that was unreal. They had dated through the last two years of high school but broke up just as the summer got under way. Dana was going to San Diego State in the fall and wanted James to go there too but his mind was set on MIT. That’s where the trouble started. They argued and the break up got ugly.***Returning down stairs, James was met by Mike with a huge smile and two beers in his hand. James decided to put Dana out of his mind by drowning her in beer. He took the bottle from his friend and downed nearly half the beer in one gulp. He gave his buddy a crooked smile then touched bottles with him.“Feeling better?” James nodded.“OK then,” Mike raised his bottle, “Let’s PARTY!”Over. Nothing new there. My work day was overloaded - like usual, I dropped my coffee and stained my shirt, ripped a stocking and the guy I've been trying to be semi-serious with is only interested in having a lay. Now, after being unable to decompress on my own, I'm sitting here on my couch with a bottle of Chardonnay and my largest - and favorite of late - wine glass while I try to write away my sorrows and frustrations. So, here goes: My life feels like a giant mess pile in a contractor trash bag that I keep dragging behind me with no hope for the heaviness of its stress to lighten. I haven't gotten over my last break up yet - sad, I know - and it's just making me feel like I'm the most worthless person on the planet. I keep playing through what I did or where I went wrong but I keep coming blank then swap into these horrible bouts of self-loathing for not doing better at whatever the fuck was wrong. I keep thinking of him too. What he might be doing right now and constantly.
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