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I played like I’ve never played before for this homeless man. And as I played “Amazing Grace”, the workers began to weep. They wept, I wept, we all wept together.When finished, I packed up my bagpipes and started for my car. Though my head was hung low, my heart was full. As I opened the door to my car, I heard one of the workers say, “I never seen anything like that before, and I’ve been putting in septic tanks for twenty years.”Apparently, I’m still lost ... it’s a man thing.When you have stopped laughing be sure to forward this on to others who would enjoy a good story.This one is compliments of Anonymous.An elderly Scottish Jew has decided to take it a little easier and take up golf so he puts his name down at the local Club. After a week he receives a message that his application has been turned down, so off he goes down to the Club to ask the reason why!Secretary: You are aware that this is a Scottish Golf Club?Scot: Aye, and I am as Scottish as ye are Jock.Secretary: This. "Mam, I'm sorry, I'm really sorry!" said Sam, getting up off his knees and looking for boxers. I was still dazed at what was happening. "YOU!" she shouted at me. "THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT — LEADING HIM ON TO THESE THINGS. HE'S ONLY SIXTEEN, FOR GOD SAKE!" "I'm sorry Mrs. Taylor!" I said, getting up. "GET OUT OF MY HOUSE NOW!" she roared. I didn't think twice. I ran straight out of Sam's room and down the stairs and out the back door with Sam's Mam running after me shouting, "IF I EVER SEE YOU AGAIN YOU'LL BE SORRY!" I had completely forgot about my clothes, and had left my favorite thong in Sam's bedroom, a tiny little blue silk one, along with my other clothes. I ran home through the wheat field and was looking the annoying little kids were not out playing it in. I ran in the back door of the house, lucky that no one was home. I grabbed a towel and went straight for the shower, with what just happened running through my head. I had the best masturbation session ever! That memory was.
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