She agreed without much friendliness to my bargaining for the two books, one of which looked like it had fallen into a bath at one point.I handed over the money and our eyes met. Instead of looking away, when confronted with such a direct hidden desire, and keeping this desire hidden as society instructs, I suddenly asked if she was married and happy. It was a funny question, so direct for all these books, all these thousands of ways to write around it, and here I was suddenly, the newest recruit to her box of memories. She would probably remember me forever after this, whatever happened. She smiled and said she wasn't married any more, and she felt happy enough about that. She looked at me as if she'd already said too much, and then maybe, like I had done, decided that she too liked what she saw. 'A woman as beautiful as you deserves to be happy,' I said. 'Thank-you she said,' turning slightly flustered, with a half smile, still wary enough for me to be apologise if I was becoming. ..." Poor, sweet Sporus...he's a madman! He wants to have a royal wedding,dress you as his bride, and show you off to all of Rome!" I won't do it!" You must! He'll put you to death if you don't...." I'd rather be dead." Don't be a fool! You are going to be the Empress of Rome! It will bea much better life than you ever could have imagined as a slave." As the wife of Nero?" Please, don't fight this. If they find out I told you, they'll killme...." When is this supposed to happen to me?" I asked with resignation."Tomorrow."Tomorrow! I would never know what it meant to be a man...I took herbeautiful face into my hands and kissed her, and suddenly the passionwhich was hidden deep within swept us both away. For the first time inmy young life, I made love to a woman, and as I lost myself inbittersweet ecstasy, I wept with the realization that it would be mylast. * * *The next morning, I was awakened by two members of the Praetorian Guard. Without explanation, I was given a.
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