I’m sure there’s directions in the box.”I catch the Rubik's Cube-sized box and shoot my wife one of those ‘what now’ looks.“Just trust me, and hurry up. If you don’t take too long, I’ll let you pick out your dress.”Oh geez, thanks, I think to myself and continue into the bedroom for some privacy to get dressed. I was not prepared for what I found written on the box. I read it twice just to make sure, and sure enough, stated right there on the side of the box were the words ‘contains: one cock cage for male chastity’. What the fuck is this? I thought chastity was something that fathers would make their daughters wear back in the day to ensure they’d remain virgins until a suitable business, er, marriage arrangement, could be secured. “Barbaric fools,” I mumble under my breath.“What are you talking about in there?” My wife, the mind reader, asks from the other room. “You better not be chickening out on me!”“Give me a break,” I respond, “it’s not like I’ve done this before or. After dressing out for this last game, I ran the field thinking that it would be a while before I played here again. After infield and batting practice the coach had us inside and said, "Okay guys, we've had a hell of a season. We are twenty, two, and that one incomplete came. We've set records and have even had an apology for not getting an NIT bid. We're not a division one school but we could play with any of them. As a matter of fact, we beat these guys yesterday and we'll beat them again today. They are division one. For some of you guys, this is your last game of your college career. We'll make those announcements. For a few, you will have your last chance to show off for the couple of dozen scouts out there. There are also a bunch of sports reps or agents here today to try to get you to sign with them. Don't make up your mind until you've evaluated all of the reps and lawyers. You non draft guys and guys still in school, avoid those reps and lawyers as if they have the clap..
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