She smiled serenely at me. "Shhh. It's okay, Hawk. I never would have offered it as long as you demanded it, but you trusted me - loved me enough to ask. I've never had anyone love me that much before. My clients will have to learn to live without me in their beds." Honey, I do love you, but I don't understand," I said. "Still, I don't think you need to make radical, life-altering decisions like this on the spur of the moment. Let's just go with things as they are for a few months and then talk about it again."Gretchen said nothing for a moment and then nodded. "Okay. We said we would find someplace to start letting the other inside our walls. This is as good as any. You see, all my life, someone was telling me what I had to do, how I had to behave. When I was a kid, it was my mother and father and I did what they wanted, what they told me to do. Later it was Kat, and my father caved to whatever Kat wanted to do for the sake of peace." She wiped her face and stared at the ceiling. "I. I never heard anything else he said. Right at that moment, my heart shattered. Shards of glass seared painfully through my body. I bled to death internally, but my lungs continued taking in air. We met online. A fast friendship that sprang out of nowhere. I told him things about myself I’d never said to another human being. He told me personal things also. We talked about our pasts, our families, our likes and dislikes, even our wants and needs. When the ICQ logging on sound rang from my speakers, my heartrate tripled. Excitement filled my day. I smiled at everyone all the time. I found myself grinning into the saucepan of vegetables cooking on the stovetop for no reason other than my happiness was overflowing. I was completely and utterly head over heels in love. Even the moon, on my twilight dog walks, looked huge and beautiful, and glowed like the massive sphere it really was. I felt I could just step across the glistening sky and walk around it all night long. I wrote poetry..
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