Neither of them noticed me, though I was only ten feet away.The kid dipped into his pocket and pulled out a folded bill, it looked like a twenty but I wasn't sure. Kenny grabbed it, unfolded it, and smiled. 'Extortion, ' was my first thought, but then Kenny reached into the locker and pulled out a baggy. Something green and leafy. Probably oregano. Kenny was running an herb store for aspiring cooks.I took three big steps and kicked the locker door hard. It smashed closed, not quite catching Kenny's hand. As Kenny's head snapped toward me, I reached out and grabbed his wrist."Let go!" he yelled.I squeezed, and he dropped the baggy. "Not in my school," I told him coldly. 'Please throw a punch, ' I begged silently. The kid looked like he was about to wet his pants. "Take your money and go," I ordered. "Don't come back."The kid reached for the money still in Kenny's other hand."No!" Kenny bellowed. I squeezed his wrist harder. The kid grabbed the twenty and jackrabbited down the hall. I. Stanton subsequently managed a number of variations on this satisfying experience, including one, very cleverly managed he thought, when the welts from the first punishment were severe enough for the matron to require that he wait a week before administering the second. He thus got to observe the effects of his caning after a variety of intervals. Confirming the success of his planning, of course, was the fact that academic standards did indeed rise in parallel with his satisfaction. There was, the documents in Dr. Stanton's estate were eventually to reveal, another even more surprising and gratifying outcome of these events, but that is another story. We will turn here, rather, to an equally surprising item in the estate, which was another document that Dr. Stanton himself had begun to compose for what he called the "posterity of the posterior."(Editors' note: the document contained in the following section of our account is a draft that Dr. Stanton wrote in the hope that it might.
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