Sarah looked at me and asked if I was okay, then Amy heard this and turned around and asked the same question with some concern. A couple of times in the past I have had a strong reaction to pot when I'm in a hot tub and would have to crash, I guess the combination of strong weed and hot water. Not this time! I felt fine but that's not what I told Amy. I said I was a little baked and was going to crash, Amy started reaching for her bathing suit but I caught her arm and told her to stay, she argued, and I said I would feel guilty if she left too, so I'll have to stay even if I poach, she relented. The others were all encouraging Amy to stay. I looked at her and said: "You know when this happens I'll be out for the night when my head hits the pillow, "Have fun" a little peck and I was headed back to our room.I dried off, put on a dark, high neck, pull over and a pair of dark sweat pants and headed back to the party only this time I went around the other side of the motel and came up on. “This is a source of constant shame for me. I am not proud of these desires, these interests. They sicken me, and I wish…they’d go away. But please, don’t be afraid of me.” My voice caught in my throat, and damning tears of both impotent rage and frustration, sprung to my eyes. I heard only the soft rustle of her dress scape against the chair, and found myself enveloped in her arms. Horrified at this act of clemency and compassion, I sobbed into her breast. She cradled me in her arms, gently rocking me. After a while, I was in a position to actually engage once again. “Tony, why does it matter what I think?” I stared mutely at the floor, desperately eager for this hellish nightmare to go away. Maintaining that same, deadpan tone of voice, Claire continued. “And if I asked you to spank me, what would your reaction be?” I moaned pitifully, and violently shook my head like some demented mongrel. She sighed. "I thought as much. You struggle with it because it seems to be about inflicting.
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