This was the part of my cuckolding that I found hard to come to terms with. Having her with me while she cuckolded me was one thing but having her away from home with her lover was something quite different. With having the workmen at the house going back and forth it was difficult to talk but Jane managed to shower and change and supervise my packing of her suitcase. Before we left we kissed and hugged and then I took her to the rail station. There followed more hugs and kisses as she got onto the train and then came the sadness of watching the train slowly disappear from view. Jane: I did feel bad about leaving Mark and the children. I knew that Mark was hurting. I did at one stage nearly change my mind. I knew that I could have rang Alex and got him to come over instead but I also knew that this had to be done. Alex had said “A good Cuckoldress should make her sexual independence a priority very early in the relationship. The Cuckoldress should also establish that she was. "Nothing," he replied.His answer did not reassure me. It did just the opposite. Whatever was bothering him was serious.That night I took my husband to bed and made love to him hoping this would ameliorate the problem. It did zilch. I think for the first time in our marriage, I felt no love flowing toward me during the act. It was as if he were someplace else.I went to sleep puzzled and unsatisfied. I awoke the next morning with a clear head and a terrible thought, "Is he having an affair?"No, that seemed an impossibility but maybe a one-night indiscretion that was now torturing him with guilt. I felt white hot anger in that instant. I had never conceived that I could be a jealous woman, but just the thought of another woman's hands on my husband, and I was ready to do bodily harm. What could he have done and with whom?An instant later, I regained control of that she-cat within. I realized how a sensitive man like my husband must be suffering. He was too good a man to cheat without.
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