.. or at least not out and about in public. I wondered if I should introduce Tweed Woman to Ms White...Actually, I was saved from doing anything of the sort by the arrival of an ancient Landrover, which pulled up directly beside me - what was this, I thought? Have I suddenly developed a magnetic personality? - after which a large and very muddy Labrador leapt out the back door and immediately shoved its nose into my crotch. Worse, it spilled my beer. Which tragedy distracted me somewhat from the emergence of its owner, a woman in standard issue outdoor gear - green gore-tex and a fleece hat - who proceeded to attempt to drag a by now extremely friendly dog off my leg while simultaneously greeting me ... by name.I have to confess that I might well have let some surprise show on my normally impassive physiognomy. Or, to be honest, I gave her a sort of gobsmacked goggle, descending jaw very nearly landing in the pool of spilled beer ... which the dog, I noted, was now hoovering up.. Sylvie reappeared, she had something in her hand, "this won't hurtmuch", she said, and placed it on to one of Peter's earlobes. "Ow", hesaid, as he felt a sharp jab. "Baby", she said, "real girls don't makesuch a fuss", what fuss thought Peter, and said "Ow" again, as the samething happened to his other ear. "What did you just do"? asked Peter. "Your mother asked me for the works, so I've pierced your ears, you'llneed something to clean them which I'll give you later, and leave themin place for two weeks to be on the safe side, Oh yes you need to rotatethem a couple of times each day as well". Peter's mouth dropped open,why had his mother asked her to do that to him. Sylvie told him to puthis fingertips into a little pot either side of the chair, he didn'tknow why, but placed them in without thinking, he was still wonderingabout his ears. Eventually she took him from under the dryer, and removed the hair net,and curlers then started to brush his hair out, then she got a nail.
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