Behind me are five or morepeople with bats and knives, if they catch me I'm dead meat. I pass alarge shop window and see myself reflected in it, and I'm a male! I didn'tsee my reflection for very long, but I'm a male. One of them gets reallyclose, and I turn and swing at him. Maybe if I was not out of breath Icould have hit him, but my blow misses and he thrusts his bat into mychest.**The rest catch up with me and they bring down their bats again on mylimbs, ribs, and head. Then one pulls out a knife and thrusts it betweenmy legs...*"Sarah, Sarah, wake up, snap out of it."My boyfriend was shaking me. I rubbed my eyes, and focused them. I20waslying on my bed, and my teddy bears had been flung all over the room."Thomas, what happened? Why am I here, and what did I do?"I asked him.He stared into my eyes. "You suddenly started screaming for help at thetop of your voice, and took off upstairs so fast that I couldn't catchyou. Then you ran into your bedroom and started hurling teddy bears. But then again, who’s is? It took me a LONG time to come out to MYSELF (the most important person to come out to!). I started to think about being with girls when I was 12 but always just pretended it wasn’t actually a ‘thing’.As the years progressed, I found myself in a typical cheesy high school sweetheart type of relationship with a man who was my best friend. I came out to him so many times. All as gay, but he shrugged it off, said "I needed a man to fix me". I truly thought I was broken. He would catch me on Tumblr looking at photos of girls. We ended up breaking up for different reasons and I kept suppressing the thoughts I had of girls – I just thought they were friendship feelings! I never had a lot of ‘girl’ friends so I thought that was just how it was.[/i]“IT FELT AS IF FIREWORKS SET OFF AS WE KISSED” When I was 15, I found a girl that I wanted to go out on a date with and so I sneakily went and we had a kiss at the end of the night. I didn’t even like this girl more than.
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